from now on my penis is your penis
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
