Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
