yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
