I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
