gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
