I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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