her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
