Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
