I just made out with a guy for $7.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
