i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
