U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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