I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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