I love black thongs
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize