Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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