this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Holy sore nipples Batman
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
