I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
