He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
