It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
