Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
