Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
