I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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