my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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