Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
