i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize