what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Are we still banned from the library?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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