i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
