Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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