you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
