if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize