he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I understand Curling. That high.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
