I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
