oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize