I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
