Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she told me i tasted like america
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
