My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
