I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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