yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
the raccoons are back...
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