It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
