I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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