just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
