oh god the rape fog is back!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
