i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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