Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
