I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
