If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
