dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
