I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
That's when you crack a 10am beer
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
