How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
