I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
