its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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