i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
