He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
