fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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