Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize