I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
