he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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