Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
