thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
