The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want to have your abortion
one might say we're banned from that church
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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