my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
