evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
