her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
