made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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